


Why Tyler And Josh Aren't Doctors

by myspookyjoshdunchristmas



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Acting Like Kids, Brendon being Brendon, Crack, Crack Fic, Dallon is just cute, Doctors, Don't ever let these guys examine you, Funny, Humor, Josh is clueless af, Junior doctors, M/M, Patd on crack, Stupidity, Top on crack, Tyler is just funny, You might just die, brallon, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9851111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myspookyjoshdunchristmas/pseuds/myspookyjoshdunchristmas
Summary: Basically why Tyler and Josh aren't doctors. Starring Brendon and Dallon.I'm sorry I don't even know what the hell this is .-.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy .-.

"Doctor Tyler, Doctor Josh, there's an emergency in the children's clinic please, you must follow me.". A female nurse says as she slams the door open, alerting the doctors in the staff base.

Josh holds his coffee cup and sips from it whilst Tyler reads a magazine with a leg on top of the other and looking over at the nurse. "What time is it nurse?" Tyler asked, setting the magazine down and glaring over at the staff member. 

The woman holds her breath and looks over at the clock. "It's fifteen minutes past twelve doctor." She says and huffs. "And what time is that?" Tyler asked, raising his eyebrow at her. The nurse face palmed herself and exhaled harshly, fed up with the doctor acting like a stooge. "It's the lunch hour sir---"

"---Yeah the lunch hour, exactly, now." He begins, waving her off. "I'm busy, now begone." He says and turns back to the magazine, Josh too busy in his own coffee filled world to get a word in. "To think you get peace and quiet in this place." Tyler scoffed. 

"Shouldn't we at least go check it out?" Josh asked, setting his cup down. Tyler groaned overly loud and slammed the magazine he was reading. "You too?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows at his doctor friend. 

Josh blinked and pouted a little. "I didn't say we had to, I was just checking." 

Tyler shook his head and laid down on the couch like he was at home or something. "You know Josh, there's other doctors than just us. I'm sure Dallon and Brendon can handle it." 

 

|-/ \\-|

 

"Look Dallon, for heavens sake, grab my hips harder, it's not gonna come off like that when you're struggling like a wimp." Brendon stated, his hands grabbing onto a metal bucket which had engulfed a little boys head. 

"Wimp?! I'm the wimp?! Says the one who needs my professional help to get it off in the first place." Dallon yells and continues to groan whilst helping Brendon. 

"It's not my fault that this kid over here thought it was funny to plunge a bucket on their fat head. Fricking who the hell is under there? Jimmy Neutron?" Brendon yells, still struggling to get it off.

"Hey! That's my son under there!" A woman screams, clutching her purse close to her body. Brendon abruptly let's go and the kid goes crash against the polished white floor. 

"Oww mommy." He whines and stays put as his mother scrambles to his side and helps him up. 

"What's wrong with you?" She asks and stares over at the two doctors, completely shocked by their acts.

Brendon scoffs and then breaks into laughter. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?! No lady what's wrong with YOU and YOUR son? Why did he find it funny to put a bucket over his head? Just who does your son think he is? Iron man?" Brendon asked and crossed his arms. 

The woman without hesitation whacks Brendon around the head with her purse and grabs her sons hand. "Don't you dare talk to me like that ever!" She seethes and turns on her heel to walk out, leaving Dallon to help Brendon off of the floor. 

"Yeah well Harry called! He wants his bucket full of dinosaurs back!" Dallon screamed as they walked out. "That was good right?" He asked Brendon, pretty impressed with himself. "Yeah for you." Brendon replies and groggily stands up. 

 

|-/ \\-|

 

"So you're telling me, his arm, this arm right, is broken?" Josh asked, examining his patients arm. He looked closely as if he was part blind or something, squinting his eyes. 

"Yes! That's what I told you!" A mother flipped out, noticing how mangled up her sons arm looked. "Interesting..." Josh says continuing his observation. 

"And how, may I ask, did you break your arm son?" He asked, the mother confused by Josh acknowledging her son that way. He was a junior doctor. 

"I fell off my bike." He says in a little cute tone, lips pointing downwards. "Aww, the smol kid fell." Josh says and juts his lip, sympathising, the mother just agitated, unable to stop the thought that this man was mocking her child. 

Josh looked at the arm again, touching and poking it slightly. "Well I'm afraid to say that Miss, your sons arm is broken." Josh concludes and stands up, the mother groaning and rubbing her temples. 

"We know that doctor! That's why we came here! Hello!" She says, wafting a hand in the mans face, unsure of whether he was acting or being serious or whether he was just stupid as shit. 

"So what do you propose to do about this?" The angered mother asked, looking over at Josh for a respectable answer because she was just not having it. 

"Well, next time, you should put some stabilisers on your sons bike." Josh nods and then walks off, satisfied with his observation.

 

|-/ \\-|

 

Tyler sat at his desk typing away as the next patient was called in. 

"Ah yes, you must be Miss Hall, how can I help you today?" Tyler asked, observing the older woman and a kid sat beside her. 

The kid wore a cap, a striped sweat shirt and black jeans with some vans. Tyler was unable to see their face since the cap was half covering the kids face. 

"Well Alex here, has had a break out of acne and I was wondering if you were able to prescribe some treatment since it's making Alex so insecure." The mother says, rubbing the kids arm. 

Tyler nods and then turns to his clipboard and pen, looking over at the mother and kid. 

"How old is Alex?" Tyler asked, clicking his pen to write down the information. 

"Fourteen." The mother replies. Tyler nods and writes it down.

"Alex this is a personal question and you can turn to your mother if you don't feel comfortable answering okay?" Tyler turns to the kid, not receiving any reply.

"Okay Alex, have your balls dropped?" He asked, looking at the expression of his patients mother drop. 

"EXCUSE ME?" The mother screeched standing up. 

Tyler scrambled back into his chair, freaked out by the mothers outburst. 

"W-what? It's important for me to know if your sons balls have dropped, this is part of the observation." Tyler said, hiding behind his clipboard. 

The mother, enraged, pulled off her child's cap to reveal long strands of hair and girly features and a lot of acne. 

Tyler's expression twisted and he screamed, running for the door and sprinting down the halls. 

 

|-/ \\-|

 

"Hehe it's squishy." Dallon says all kiddy like squishing a patients vital organs between his fingers.

"Dallon Weekes! Get your dirty little fingers off of that!" Brendon chides and slaps his partners hands. 

The two were in the theatre saving a mans life. He had been shot and the task was to remove the bullet and to not spill too much blood. 

"Buts it's like jelly and so tasty." Dallon whined and jumped on the spot. Brendon slapped him around the head and turned to the patient. 

"We need to get the bullet out before he dies." The large forehead man says, placing a hand under his chin. 

"Oh mannnn, why do we have to do this?" Dallon continues to complain, walking around like a fed up child. 

"Brendon shook his head and turned to Dallon. "I don't know why we have to do this! Why don't you ask this idiot here why he had to go stand in front of a bullet." Brendon dictates, already fed up with the surgery. 

It's only been two minutes. 

Dallon puffs his cheeks and stands by the mans face which has been covered with a mask. "Hey guy, why did you stand in front of a bullet? Hey? I'm talking to you." Dallon says and nudges the patient slightly.

"I think he's shy." The tall man concludes and walks around to Brendon's side. 

Brendon ignores him and starts to mess with the tools on the side, examining every single one. He just placed them against his fingers, trying to see if he could cut his latex gloves.

 

"IS IT REALLLLLL NOOOWW! WHEN TWO PEOPLE BECOME ONE!" 

Dallon screeches in Brendon's ear, causing the small knife in his hand to go flying and land into the mans open body. The heart monitor started to beep rapidly and loudly.

Brendon panicked in the theatre and ran out with a confused Dallon chasing after him. 

 

|-/ \\-|

 

"What a day." Tyler says and falls against the couch in the doctor base, stressed out after today's events.

Josh, Brendon and Dallon were with  him. Work was over and they were able to go home soon. It had been a long day.

"You're telling me." Brendon replies and runs a hand through his hair. 

"Did you finish that surgery then?" Tyler asked, shutting his eyes.

"Nah, he died." Brendon blurted out like it was normal. 

"Honestly?" Tyler asked, shocked by the heartless answer. 

"Yeah man, when Dallon scared me, that knife landed right into his heart and next thing you know he died." Brendon explains like it's some sort of mind blowing biology. 

"His fault for standing in front of a bullet." Dallon speaks up, sitting beside Josh.

Tyler shrugged his shoulders and continued to speak. "Well I ran out on my patient today." 

No one says anything as they mind their own business.

"Yeah I thought I had a male patient named Alex. It was a girl and I asked if her balls had dropped." Tyler concludes, smacking his lips.

Josh perks up and asks "So did her balls drop?" 

Tyler tutted and turned to his partner. "She's a girl, she doesn't have balls." The male states as a matter of factly.

 

"Wait...girls don't have penises??!"

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments? Lemme know if you laughed, cuz honestly it made me laugh I'm not ashamed to admit that :0 I laugh at anything anyway =___=


End file.
